Is.1.5,2025
Issue 2? Moo cows, waterfalls, gay clubs, gay art, another email newsletter diary entry.
Hey, thanks for coming back here. What have you been up to this last month?
I almost forgot to make a new newsletter. Perhaps I’m screaming into the abyss - but maybe the abyss will scream back? It’s lonely out here, man.
There’s a feeling I’ve had recently, that I have nothing.
I look around and at 36 I don’t have much to show for the decisions that I have made.
Grass is always greener / comparison is the thief of joy yada yada yada meow meow meow I know, I should be more grateful. But I’m finding it hard to be, right now.
I’m quite stressed about money, finances and work. It was a busy start to the year with lots on but things have really calmed down, and although that gives me time to think and to sit and to rest and to finish old work and to go out to the country to see rolling green hills and moo cows and drink wine and smoke darts, it also freaks me out and spikes my working-class anxiety. What is my value if I am not performing labour? What is my worth as a creative / and artist and someone from a low-socio-ecomic background?
I’m feeling a bit stuck despite my best efforts to move forward, but I’m unsure if this stagnancy with my business is because of a stagnancy in my soul? What is the answer?
”I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas.”
Is this middle-age? What do I even want to do? Why hasn’t anything really worked out? Should I try to make more “art”?
Hard launched a new boyfriend this month (you know what millenials used to say? it’s not real unless it;s “Facebook Offical”), and we went out to far east Gippsland past Wilson’s Prom and stayed on a farm in the middle of nowhere near Hiwatha for a few nights over the long weekend. It was such beautiful landscape, so breathtaking and calm and serene. Lots of cows - do we really need that much milk? There were waterfalls and landscapes and it was sublime.
Best photography gig for April:
There were a few cute gigs; a family portrait session with a huge fam and kids, some street photography, some artwork documentation etc, but probably TROUGH “NUTT” party was the best. It certainly gets the most “likes” on instagram… I wonder why….
What I’m listening to:
I’ve been listening to Knats new jazz album “Knats” a lot lately (love the track “Black Narcissus”.) Especially on public transport and in transit. It makes me feel a little bit more romantically contacted to the city, to strangers, to the world.
What I’m playing:
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Remastered
This was such a surprise drop - especially when there’s so much to play right now. Monster Hunter Wilds, Assassins Creed Shadows, that Claire Obscura french turn-based RPG et cetera. But it feels so strangely comforting and nostalgic to return to Cyrodiil as a mage knight in this familiar, comforting, dark fantasy. I remember playing Oblivion when it came out in 2006 and its like an old friend returning.
I sank so many hours into the original back in the day when I was just 18. It was my first fantasy RPG game (Star Wars KotOR was my first RPG really, but it’s sci-fi) and it feels strangely right that at this turning point in my life I’ll return to the Oblivion Gates.
What I’m watching:
Andor season 2.
Obviously it’s the greatest SW content produced since the Mouse took over as it is created in Europe rather than the confining process sheds in LA. But also, this show gets it and remembers what Star Wars is about.
Maybe I’m preaching to the choir here - but if you are unfamiliar, watch Rogue One, then season 1 of Andor then start season 2. Actually, you need to watch the first 9 minutes of Episode 4 A New Hope, then watch Rogue One, then go to Andor. Although, Andor is a prequel to Rogue One (which is also. a prequel to Episode 4 (which was the first movie) so perhaps just start with Andor season 1 and work your way forward.
Star Wars is confusing.
What I’m drinking:
Cheery Sour by Venom Brewing.
This is a great hair-of-the-dog, as well as a refreshing entry drink into a longer night of refreshments. I went to the GABS festival at Jeff’s Shed because my best friend’s sister’s fiancé had some free industry tickets, and I got to say hi to the Venom Brewing guys. I love their logo but the font seems off?
Anyway, the cherry sour is absolutely delicious and so easy to drink - I really recommend it if you want something refreshing, slightly sweet, a little sour and local.
They also have it on tap at my favourite pub - the Leadbeater.
What I’m reading:
”100 Boyfriends” by Brontez Purnell.
“It's like that saying, 'Where god closes a door, he opens a window, ' but in this particular case the window was on the fifth floor and the house was on fire.”
I joined the Melbourne Gay Men’s BookClub earlier this year in the hope to meet new friends and be inspired to read more fiction / queer books and have a social life. I havn’t made it to a single meet-up yet, even though it’s once a month at DT’s hotel down the road from my new place - mostly because of work and other commitments, however one of the books “100 boyfriends” was such a great, easy, funny and sardonic little read. Quite accessible and charming, it was a lovely entry into the process.
Whats on:
Not much… it’s a quiet few weeks of May and I’m slightly stressed about income. If you have any gigs or job leads please help a brother out.
What’s coming up?
I’ll be taking some stills and video at my new favourite pub, the Leadbeater, this Saturday night til late if anyone wants to come buy me a vino and hang?
Other than that, I’m doing a guest lecture on “producing as an artist”at RMIT later in the month, I’m photographing the AIDs Candlelight Vigil Memorial for Living Positive Victoria on the 18th, then an photographing an exciting STEM conference for RMIT at the end of the month, and entering the following illustration in the Laird’s “Men on Men” art competition, which will be open for viewing on the 31st of May. This illustration will be framed and for sale, so pelase come buy it cos mama needs some coin.
My street photos from my Footscray Walking Tours were also really dope, but I’ll include them in next month’s newsletter as this one is already getting to long.
Is.1.5 photo of the month.
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